Ten Ways to Help a Discouraged Friend

1.  Be a good listener.  Restrain the urge to tell your own story.  Let it be about them.

    2.  Use gentle words  - and only a few words - to help your friend gain perspective.  When we are discouraged we tend to lose sight of the   whole picture.

    3.  Affirm your friend’s feelings.  Sometimes we just need to be heard or to    know we are not alone.

    4.  Pray for your friend.  Then write them a note and tell them you prayed.   

    5.  Let your friend know you are thinking of them in moments they would   not expect to hear from you.

    6. Sometimes a thoughtful (not expensive) gift can convey feelings that words can’t.  Something informational that they are interested in,   something made in the kitchen, a single flower, an offer to go out for   latte or a smoothie, are small ways to convey that you care.   

     7. Encourage your friend by pointing out their gifts and talents and remind  them of how they have influenced your life.    

    8. Share your favorite Bible verse with your friend.

    9. Be worthy of the trust your friend has extended to you by sharing their problems.  Consider that trust a compliment.

1  10. Point your friend to hope – not empty words but the true source of hope  that God has expressed through His Word.  A few examples are: “Casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.”  I Peter 5:7; “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  Psalm 34:18;  “I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;  from where shall my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.”  Psalm 121:1-2;  For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”  Jeremiah 29:11   

"Hating" and "Occupying the Land"

He's right, you know.  Having kicked a meth habit, he sat in my office and politely recoiled at my words of congratulations for his strength of will to overcome the highly addictive drug.  "People say that - but really it's that you have to hate what you are doing so much that you say, that's it.  I'm done."  


'Hate', hmm, I have to admit, I hadn't thought of that motivation.  But he's right.


I got up and actually ran around the block today.  And, although I had a delicious Thanksgiving dinner last night, I didn't gorge.  The reason?  I hate the way I feel being "out of shape," having packed on a few extra pounds over the last few months.  


When my child was young and she would use the word "hate" I would say, "hate is a strong word - use the word 'dislike.'"  But sometimes a genuine change in ourselves has to come about through a hate of the choices we have made and a real grieving over not doing that which we know to do.  James, the brother of Jesus, told us if we know the right thing to do, and don't do it, then it is sin. 


We tend to relate easily to the physical realm - things like the effects of abusing our bodies with destructive substances or even overeating or a lack of exercise or sleep.  But that which is true in the physical realm also has application in the spiritual realm.


The choices we make everyday - whether to not to pick up our Bible and read what God would say to us, or whether or not we seriously make a focused effort to pray have an effect on our souls - just as real as the choices we make for our minds or our bodies.


In Deuteronomy 32:47 we read, "These instructions are not empty words - they are your life!  Be obeying them you will enjoy a long life in the land you will occupy when you cross the Jordan River."  At this point in history God was speaking to the children of Israel before they crossed over into the promised land. But the principle of what He said is just as true today.  If we do what the Bible tells us to do, we will have a full and meaningful life full of purpose and meaning.  Do notice that I did not say an easy life - but a very good life.  


So, sometimes hate can be good - good in the sense that hating to do the wrong thing - whether it affects my body, mind or soul - can propel me to do that which is right and good and all the great experiences that come along with those life-giving choices.  And ultimately those choices affect all those around me for whom I care deeply.  

The Sweetness of God's Word

Psalm 19 is a psalm that proclaims the sweetness of God’s Word even describing it as “sweeter also than honey and the drippings of the honeycomb.” (vs. 12).

In this Psalm of David’s we find his personal life story as relating to how much the Word of God has meant to his life. In church language it’s called a testimony.

There are so many descriptions of what the Bible is, and for me the phrase that resonates in my life is that it is the “book of hope.” When considering my own struggles, issues and life problems (we all have them, don’t we?) it has been in my quiet communion with the Lord, reading His Word that has invariably brought me through. It is in seeing again and again that God loves me, has a plan for my life, has significant purpose in the things I go through and promises for me to act upon that renews my sense of hope. Artist that I am, I am prone by creative temperament to the ups and downs of intense emotions that can color my sense of optimism for the future. The Word of God has been a constant source of equilibrium in my life. My focus on my problems are lifted to a sense of relief that God has not forgotten me or has allowed something in my life that would be an agent of destruction with no way out. The precious things I have learned about God in these times have given me courage for the day and hope for all of my tomorrows, as many as the Lord chooses to give me on earth. Yes, I can concur with King David that in my life God’s Word is sweeter than honey, and if I may, sweeter than chocolate, peppermint, coconut, and all the other favorite flavors that define sweetness to me. The Bible is delicious to my soul. Yum.