I Don't Want to be a Sea Anemone

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” Matthew 16:24-25

The Sea Anemone, natural creature that it is, reacts in the natural way to pain and discomfort. When something touches it not only closes in on itself, it “injects a dose of flesh of the aggressor or prey.” (Wikipedia encyclopedia). Turning in - becoming self-absorbed in a crisis, is our natural reaction to emotional pain. The difficulty that we are going through takes center stage and demands our attention. Problems can drain us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Not only do we tend to “turn in”, the natural inclination is to lash out at anything that comes close. We really aren’t as compartmentalized as we think. Hurt has a way of oozing into other areas of our life and affecting seemingly unrelated areas and relationships. The natural way of the Sea Anemone, even though it may be our default mechanism, is clearly not the best way to conduct our lives.

Jesus, our great High priest (Hebrews 4:15) was no stranger to pain and suffering. Yet, He taught us, to deny ourselves and to not be fixated on our own life. It’s a contradiction to our natural reaction but Jesus words are life giving in their application. As we face what James calls “various trials” we are, at the same time, encouraged to “give our lives away.” To put it another way, when bad things are happening in our life and we make a conscious decision to put that aside for a time and focus on others pain and doing tangible things to help, we ourselves experience a degree of emotional healing. In “losing our life” we truly “find our life.” Only God could make an equation like that work..

And so, if I had to choose to be another creature, it would not be a sea anemone. They are too emotionally unhealthy. But a silly sea ottter, perhaps – now that’s an idea. Anyone want to go swimming?

Prayer is Mysterious

Prayer is as central to the life of faith as oxygen is to our physical life. Yet, prayer in many ways is a mystery. We sometimes pray fervently for things, believing these things to be in the will of God. Sometimes Gods answers surprise us. Sometimes we do not see results of our prayers for a long time and it seems confusing. When I was 12 years old, I was in an accident caused by a blown-out tire on our station wagon. Our car was in the far left lane going 70 miles per hour (the speed limit) on a crowded racing Southern California freeway. The blow out caused our car to start to veer right heading fast toward a car right next to us that could not get out of the way. I was in the back seat on the right side. I still remember the terrified look on the man's face as our car windows got closer and closer. My sister, who was 28 at the time, was driving and she had the steering wheel jammed all the way toward the left, but the car continued to go, in the slow motion of my mind, in the opposite direction of the way it was turned. That moment is frozen in my mind, and that is sometimes where we find ourselves in prayer. We are praying fervently in one direction, but our lives are careening off in another - and time is suspended as we look and wonder - what is happening? After that terrifiying moment in the car, the station wagon all of a sudden obeyed the directon of the steering wheel and went slamming along the center divider and we tore out 400 feet of it - it was quite an ordeal. But we all left the car without a scratch, protected in some mysterious way by the mighty hand of God. Likewise God answers prayer in His way in His time and He can be trusted. It doesn't mean the journey won't be action packed...but we have to move beyond that moment when everything seems out of control and remember we live by faith.

I found a great quote on prayer by Gene Bourland from the book Hit By a Ton of Bricks by Dr. John Vawter. Bourland writes:

"I am discovering that prayer is not a magical lamp that I rub and get three wishes from God, but it is an intimate conversation - yelling out my dependence on Him. God is good and purposes good in our lives in and through pain. Jesus' Good News is for broken lives, for those who have no one else to put them back together again."

Donald

It was a great Mother's Day, especially because of this man. It's not just that he took me to dinner and bought me a gift - which was wonderful. It's also because when I had no children to call my own, and when we miscarried many years ago, he still bought me a Mother's Day gift. He just gets it. He gets me. This year he also helped package 300 gift bags for other moms and women to help them feel special. Then he helped me hand them out. Anything else good that happened on Mother's Day was simply a bonus. And even though I was very happy to hear from the other important people in my life, the encouragement from my husband filled me to overflowing. Oh, and the most important thing he did for me that day...he prayed for me.

Artistic Excellence and Ministry

SoulArtist
Listening to the Heart...Responding with Colors from the Master's Palette


Our friends, the Krings, introduced us to Josh Groban via a DVD of one of his concerts. What an amazing voice! Intrigued with Groban’s originality and megatalent I purchased another of his concerts on DVD for Don for Father’s Day. It was worth the purchase price for the rendition of Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring alone. In addition to Josh’s phenomenal singing, a young woman named Lili Haydn played violin exquisitely and sang at the same time (unusual!), plus the visuals were out of this world. Lili stood above the orchestra in this angelic flowing white dress, with striking lighting effects that looked like both fire and heaven. The living scene appeared to be so ephemeral. It was a breath taking performance that went beyond the realms of music into visual, drama and all the lines in between.

Jesu, joy of man's desiring Holy wisdom, love most bright Drawn by Thee, our souls aspiring Soar to uncreated light Word of God, our flesh that fashioned With the fire of life impassioned Striving still to truth unknown Soaring, dying round Thy throne
-Johann Sebastian Bach, words by Martin Janus, 1661

I don’t know whether or not Josh Groban or Lili Haydn are believers, but they sang powerful words of praise to Jesus. It all got me to thinking about quality and excellence in the realm of arts and ministry. Not only has God has given human beings a tremendous gift in terms of talent, imagination and ingenuity, God has given something to believers alone: the reason to express this unmitigated joy. “Art for art’s sake” has a ceiling to it. “Art for God’s sake” can go on forever. There is no limit to what He can do with hearts, minds and souls thoroughly devoted to Him that are also willing to take on the discipline of developing gifts from their raw form to something of stunning beauty.

Christians should set the standard for excellence in culture, not the other way around. It’s good to understand culture so that may communicate in the most insightful way possible, but how much more effective to communicate from the lead rather than from the back of the pack.

In Exodus 31 we read “Now the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “See I have called by name Bezalel, the son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah. I have filled him with the Spirit of God in wisdom, in understanding, in knowledge, and in all kinds of craftsmanship, to make artistic designs for work in gold, in silver, and in bronze, and in the cutting of stones for settings, and in the carving of wood that he may work in all kinds of craftsmanship.”

Certainly Bezalel had a call into ministry – God called him by name. God was also very specific about the ministry He gave Bezalel, just as God was specific about Paul’s ministry (Acts 9:15).

God didn’t give Bezalel artistic talent just to make visually pleasing things for their house of worship. The Lord also gave Bezalel wisdom, understanding and knowledge. The ministry wasn’t merely the making of objects of beauty. Bezalel needed God’s wisdom, understanding and knowledge to develop things that would truly bring Glory to God. Bezalel needed to understand God’s heartbeat so that he might use his talent to create things that would help people draw into God’s presence. It also appears that part of Bezalel’s ministry was to shepherd other artists – another real need for wisdom, understanding and knowledge! We all need shepherding (that’s why God gives us great pastors and directors), but the artistically inclined seem to need an additional nudge from the shepherd’s rod and staff from time to time.

Paul exhorts us to “approve the things that are excellent” (Philippians 1:10). People are drawn to excellence. Excellence provides a platform. “Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will stand before kings; He will not stand before obscure men” (Proverbs 22:29).

Franky Schaeffer, in his 1981 classic on 20th Century Christians and the Arts, Addicted to Mediocrity, pokes fun at how sometimes as Christians we settle for the message of Christ to be communicated mainly through “Christian” doodads, like trinkets, tee-shirts and bumper stickers. The purpose is not to slam those types of communications (sometimes these things are exactly what is needed for a particular purpose), but to motivate the church of the living God to pursue excellence in the area of the arts – all kinds of art. Christians should be the forerunners of artistic excellence, not mediocre imitators of yesterday’s cultural fad.

I sometimes have discussions with people about visual media…how to use it most effectively in the church, how to improve each piece of visual communication and sometimes how to raise the bar in artistic standards... even if our work isn’t entirely understood. Composer and conductor, John Williams says our culture is “addicted to visual stimulation.” However many artists will be the first to attest that we live in a “visually illiterate culture”. How can both be true? As a culture we see a lot of images – thousands everyday – but we’re simply not educated about what we’re looking at. But whether or not people, in a general sense, understand the components of what they see, people do respond to visual images in a big way. And if people respond to the visual, and in a larger sense the artistic (music, drama, etc.) then it is well worth our passion, energy and devotion to pursue excellence in arts with the goal of serving God not only with developed talent, but with wisdom, understanding, knowledge to help draw and win people to Christ and then shepherd them with all the strength and energy that God gives.

Through the way where hope is guiding,Hark, what peaceful music rings;Where the flock, in Thee confiding,Drink of joy from deathless springs.Theirs is beauty’s fairest pleasure;Theirs is wisdom’s holiest treasure.Thou dost ever lead Thine ownIn the love of joys unknown.
-Johann Sebastian Bach, words by Martin Janus, 1661

I Miss You

SoulArtist
Listening to the Heart...Responding with Colors from the Master's Palette

I MISS YOU

I miss you.
And other people may find that
Hard to understand.
To them you were something they never saw.
They only knew you existed because I told them so;
And because I was a little cranky in the evenings,
Woosy in the mornings, and craving very weird food.
How thrilled I was when I found out you were there,
Within me! Inside of me!
Such an incredible thought.
I dreamed many dreams of what you would be like.
Would you have Don’s eyes?
My funny knock knees?
What would your personality be?
And then in such a short time
You were gone.
The doctor couldn’t find your heartbeat.
On the modern ultra sound screen I could see
Your tiny form
Inside me.
And even though you didn’t move
I was amazed at the miracle of you.
How precious you were to me!
That would probably sound strange to people
Because, like I said
They couldn’t see you, or evidence of you.
I take great comfort
That you are with our heavenly Father.
You must have been pretty special
For Him to take you to heaven so fast.
I look forward to seeing you one day.
I hope to have many years here on earth.
But someday, when He calls me home
I will have the privilege of holding you
In my arms.
I will always hold you in my heart.
I do not know what the future will bring,
If I’ll have a child someday.
But that child will never replace you.
I’m sure with time
The pain I feel at your loss
Will diminish
And life goes on…
But I will never forget you.
You were and are unique in all the universe
And the time I have you within me
Will remain a special time in my memory.
Thinking about you makes me truly realize
How precious life is,
And how we need to appreciate those lives
We come in contact with
On our journey through this world.
I’m so thankful
That you were created
And but for a moment
Our lives were intertwined.


By Penny Fregeau
July 1987

Carried Up the Mountain

SoulArtist
Listening to the Heart…Responding with Colors from the Master’s Palette

Carried Up the Mountain
I enjoyed seeing the third part of ‘The Lord of the Rings’ out on video. The movie screen, of course, is ‘larger than life’ and so dramatic, but video affords me the opportunity to turn on the closed captioning and see the words of everything being spoken. Some people are irritated by extra words on the screen, but I have grown accustomed to it, and even like the added nuances it brings out. It was funny seeing the words “fat hobbit!” uttered under the breath of the schizophrenic Gollum.

If you are familiar with this classic tale (and saw the movie) you will recall near the end when Frodo, weak and weary from the journey, collapses near the top of the mountain of Mordor, where he must return the ring. His faithful and also weary friend, Samwise Gamgee, reaches deep within himself and proclaims, “I may not be able to carry it (the ring), but I can carry you!” And with a final push of adrenaline Sam scoops up the mud-stained weak body of Frodo and charges up the stony mountainside. It was a great visual illustration of the admonition of Scripture to “Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2).

Like Sam, sometimes we can’t exactly “carry the ring.” That is, our hearts may go out to someone who is suffering, but we may not relate to their pain. Maybe we just haven’t “been there” before, or we just don’t quite understand. But also, like Sam, no matter what ‘the ring’ represents, we can scoop up our brother or sister and help carry them through a difficult time. The bearing doesn’t relate so much in the specific nature of the burden, but more in the willingness to care and be a support.

Like Job’s friends, who were a strong silent support for seven days (until they started speaking); intentional presence can often speak more eloquently than words.

Bearing one another’s burdens sometimes simply means, “ I care that you hurt. I don’t really need to know why, unless you feel like telling me. But either way, I notice, I care, and I’m here.”

Ultimately, we are upheld by our Great High Priest, Jesus, who does intimately understand every type of human suffering, because He experienced it. With Christ, we are “carried up the mountain” and never alone.

I Murdered My Grandmother This Morning

SoulArtist

Listening to the Heart...Responding with Colors from the Master's Palette.

Articles:

“I Murdered My Grandmother This Morning.”
The Art of Listening

Part of being president of the United States is having happy confident facial expressions at social gatherings and enduring tedious things such as long reception lines. At one of these gatherings, it is said that Franklin Roosevelt decided to try a listening experiment. To each person in line he murmured “I murdered my grandmother this morning.” What was the response from guests? They said things like: “Marvelous!” “Keep up the good work!” “We are proud of you!” “God bless you sir!” Finally at the end of the line was a good listener – the ambassador from Bolivia. Not skipping a beat the ambassador leaned over and said, “I’m sure she had it coming.”

Good listeners are in short supply. Our busy schedules diminish our ability to take time to listen. Sometimes, like the guests in the reception line, our minds are on other matters - we are not “in listening mode.” Our basic human inclination to focus on ourselves rather than others causes a limited capacity to be a good listener. If we are brutally honest we have to admit that most of us would rather talk and be listened to, rather than discipline ourselves to listen patiently to someone else. Being a good listener is not passive, it is active. It is a concentrated unselfish effort to focus on the other person. So, why is it important to be an active listener?

We are to become imitators of Christ, and He makes listening a priority. God makes Himself available to us at any time, always ready to listen. Jesus listened attentively to those who sought Him. When people came to Him for healing or on behalf of another Jesus listened to their pleas. Did Jesus know the information already? Yes, of course. But in listening to those who came to Him, He showed visible care and compassion. He could have identified the person and said, “yes, I know what the problem is,” snap His fingers and perform the miracle. But He didn’t…he chose to listen to each person’s story before responding.
If we really want to help other people, we’d better be alert when they speak. James 1:19b says, “ But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.” If we want to show care and compassion for those around us, we need to comprehend their feelings and their mind set. This is accomplished best through intently listening to what the person is saying. Sometimes it involves a couple of thoughtful questions, but the majority of information gathering and understanding is done through really hearing the other person’s words and observing their body language.
Active Listening communicates to the other person that they are important. Romans 15:2 says, “Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to his edification.” Animated conversation is fun, and there are plenty of times for give and take. But if we want to grow in our listening skills, we need to make a conscious decision to refrain from our quick comebacks or saying things that draw attention right back to ourselves. If we have a desire to communicate that the other person is important, we focus exclusively on the other person. We make a decision to not to top the other person’s story, not to have the last word, and not share everything we think we know about that particular subject. We give up our notion that we are authoritative on that topic and we acknowledge the other person’s feelings for what they are without elaborate commentary. Our eye contact, our posture, our facial expressions all contribute to expressing to that other person that what they are saying is important. With our countenance we communicate whether we are interested in what the other person has to say. We also communicate importance by respecting the other person’s time frame. If it’s evident they are finished sharing, we don’t pry. We take our cues from the other person and reflect their mood. Obvious respect in the area of listening communicates that we value that other person.

Our motivation for developing our listening skills comes from a desire to honor others as Christ commanded. Philippians 2:3-4 in the Message gives us a great perspective. “Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.” (or an ear!)